Here comes a thought:

OOC: This takes place a few days after his talk with Nettlesplash.

IC: There was certainly a lot to think about. An overwhelming sense of frustration and confusion seemed to have taken permanent residence in  Whitepaw's very being. He just didn't know how to even begin to process his own thoughts anymore. His dreary mood had mostly dissipated into nothing but a distant hum. He was grateful for that. He was grateful for everyone who had helped him try to piece himself back together, to return him to someone more...him. The grief that he went through had exhausted him. He felt the need to sleep for a few moons. However, for now, he was content to focus back on his training. Crake had already earned his warrior name and Whitepaw was attempting to catch up. Couldn't let him hog up all the fun after all...

It was early in the crisp, breezy morning. There was barely anyone up and about. For Whitepaw, it was the optimal time to head out and hunt. The fresh air early mornings provided cleared his muddled head and soothed his nerves enough to help him function better throughout the day. Unlike a lot of his clanmates, he was a proud early riser.

The peaceful atmosphere in the territory brought on the feeling of nostalgia. It was bittersweet, more sweet than bitter. He remembered his first time he ever stepped a paw outside of the camp. He was a kit then. His late brother had the mischievous idea to escape the camp to take a swim in the water pools at the Flooded Banks. He had always been very very close to Waterpaw. It's what ultimately caused him to feel the agony when the news of his younger brother's untimely death reached his ears. The prospect of being an older brother had thrilled him back then. Don't get him wrong, it still did now but those feelings now come accompanied with some painful memories that he was fighting tooth and claw to repress.

As his daydreaming came to a stop, he looked around, eyes scanning to check his whereabouts. He was near the river's bank. He couldn't help but let out a shiver. His brother had drowned in these waters. It was painful irony that his sibling was named after the very thing that would eventually bring his demise. It was also the very thing RiverClan was known for. His heart lurched at the thought of what Waterpaw must've felt that day. His body expelled another shiver before he slowly positioned himself near the edge. It was time to do what he came here for. He had to help feed the clan. It was his duty and he was more than ready to fulfill it.

He patience rewarded him when he spotted a quick movement from the corner of his vision that was heading right his way. He unsheathed a paw and waited for it to be right where it needed to be.

His paw was successful in skewering the scaly creature. That was one out of...actually...he didn't really know how much prey he'd want to catch. He eventually settled on three. He most likely couldn't carry more than that.

The member 'Middy' has done the following action : Roll Dice

---

'Hunting Dice' : 2

The dead fish was placed beside him as he surveyed the water below him for any more movement. As he did so, his mind wandered back to the first time he'd met Nettlesplash, his beloved mentor. His current activity reminding him of his training with the warrior. The apprentice let out a soft snort at the memory. It had been a chaotic day. Bless Nettlesplash for putting up with a bunch of active kits. He had been quite surprised when the warrior he met a moon or so before his apprentice ceremony became his mentor. Honestly, Whitepaw had nothing but good things to say about him. He felt safe around the tom. There was something about him that was a comfort to the large apprentice. Nettle was rather easy to get along with, well, at least for Whitepaw. He wasn't sure why but he trusted the amber-eyed warrior well enough to have spilled all his woes and heartaches onto him.

It still puzzled him as to why he decided on having That Talk with his mentor, as opposed to his parents or even his aunt, Minnowstream. Heck! He could've even gone to Lichenstar! She was bound to have illimitable knowledge on many aspects of life. But in the end, it was Nettlesplash who had the pleasure of hearing (and seeing) his him at his lowest, possibly most embarrassing, moment in his short existence. He shouldn't dwell on the subject too much. It hurt too much to replay in his head.

His mind, as always, refused to listen and he began to ponder every theory as to why. That, soon enough, evolved to him thinking of what the other really was to him. What he meant to him. Truthfully, Nettlesplash felt like as close as second father to him. Even if he didn't see the apprentice that close, that wasn't going to change how highly Whitepaw regarded him. He had looked out for him every time they were together and over time, the respect he had for the warrior had accumulated exponentially. He appreciates everything Nettle has done for him. From training to , Whitepaw wasn't sure where he'd be now if it wasn't for the red-brown tom. It all came back to the first day he laid eyes on the older tom. He had been the first warrior outside of his family that he interacted with. His calming and somewhat stern presence had caused something to stir up within the little white-furred kit. He wanted to become just like him when he grew up. Little by little his memories of the days before his ceremony resurfaced. It was like a missing piece had been placed back. He remembered that his young self was enthralled to study the warrior's mannerisms whenever he managed to catch glimpses of him. He had dreamed of standing alongside him, tall and proud, ready to serve noble RiverClan. He sometimes even mimicked him time to time. He had been White's idol. He might've even had a kitten crush on him. If he was being honest, somewhere in the depths of his being, he still had that crush. Although now, it wasn't as prominent as it used to be. However, as he grew, somebody else was slowly starting to take that place. Somebody that used to train alongside him. He felt a bit guilty for thinking about his best friend like that. He wasn't sure if Crake had even an ounce of those same feelings for him. It was a bit frightening to feel all these things but he was slowly accepting these to be a part of who he is.

Before Whitepaw could continue to space out, a swift movement in the water alerted him back to the present. He scrambled to ready his paw to strike, careful to keep his shadow from looming over the river. He didn't want to scare it off before he could get his claws on it.

Another quick catch was made. Whitepaw felt pretty good about two successful catches in a row. He was ready for a third...hopefully. He might've jinxed it but who knows. He had to try at least.

The member 'Middy' has done the following action : Roll Dice

---

'Hunting Dice' : 2

As he settled down for the last time, his two previous catches safely hidden nearby, he couldn't shake off a particular name from his mind. It began to take over, slowly encasing his head until it was all he could think of. Crakepaw, well, Crakecall now. The tom's been a beacon of hope in White's drowning despair, a light that kept him from being consumed by the guilt-fueled darkness. His days always got brighter when the other was near. He remembers the day he first met the younger tom. Coincidentally, it was the very same day he'd met Nettlesplash. The caramel tom didn't seem to be in the best of moods that day but Whitepaw didn't mind. Perhaps it was due to Nettle talking down at him? He wasn't so sure. Anyway, he had thought of him as rather a rather cool kit. He enjoyed meeting others outside of his family. He loved his family but it was nice expanding your relations.

When Crakepaw's mentor had been revealed, White has been thoroughly surprised. They were to share one in Nettlesplash. What were the odds? He surly wasn't complaining. He was secretly hoping to have someone to train with. He wanted Waterpaw with him at first but, Crake seemed like an interesting cat to get to know better. He had a sense of humor that he appreciated and added a bit of flare to what could've been somewhat dull training sessions. His fascination with the younger, more troublesome tom grew more and more as the days went on. The more he spent with his companion, the more his feelings...shifted. He didn't know when he began to think of his friend that way...actually...that's a lie. He knew exactly the moment things got complicated for them, in a good way of course. At least, to Whitepaw it was.

His little private outing with Crake had revealed many things for him. It revealed interesting things about the other that he might've never known if he hadn't asked but most importantly, it unearthed the first bout of confusing feelings he felt for his friend. It was also the first time he felt something akin to jealousy. He had been jealous at his younger brother, Shellpaw, for garnering the attention of Crakepaw. Now when he looked back at it, he can't but feel rather stupid. There was no reason to have acted that way yet, he subconsciously did so. The rest of that day had gone without any more hitches, thank StarClan for that. He remembered that night, he dreamed of what it would be like having the handsome tom by his side for life. He couldn't help his ears heating up at the memory. Those dreams occasionally reappeared even to this day. They were the few times he'd been able to sleep lately.

Waterpaw's death had hit him hard and he began to spend less and less time with his best friend. It riddled him with more guilt but he just couldn't bring himself to burden the other with his issues. He didn't want him to worry. He was supposed to focus on training to become a warrior RiverClan would be proud of and not attempting to comfort broken Whitepaw. It wouldn't be fair to him to divert his attention away from what truly mattered. When the day of Crake's warrior ceremony came, he had been thrilled for his friend. He earned his warrior name, which suited him rather well, and White managed to be the loudest of the clan's cheers, as he had promised himself. His friend needed him and he wouldn't let him down, not anymore. It felt great talking to him again, looking deep into the eyes he grew to love. It was a breath of fresh air. It was something he didn't even know he missed so much. He knew he was still far from 'okay' but just for that day, he felt joy once again. Only Crakecall was truly able chase the hurt away.

This is where he's at now. His feelings had blossomed into something unignorable. The one thing keeping him from outright expressing his inner feelings was the fear of rejection. He was a bit of a coward in a sense. He didn't want to ruin what they had now. He wanted a sign. Anything that could hint him as to what Crakecall thought of him. He refused to overstep boundaries. Things like this come with a plethora of risks that made Whitepaw wary. He was stuck. He didn't know whether to move forward or backward. It honestly scared him. Oh StarClan, he didn't want to hurt his friend. If he lost him, in any sense, what was he to do? How could he even bounce back? Those thoughts made him flinch, fur prickling with a deep terror. No. He had to stop before he spiraled. It would be no help if he lost his cool now that he was trying to hunt for the clan. Ah. He had forgotten what his current task was. He sheepishly snapped out of his dazed stupor and swiftly returned to the task at hand.

He controlled his breathing as he scanned the waters below for the last of his catches. After some time, a shadow was seen approaching his vicinity. Finally. He held his paw steady, ready to spear the fish in a moment's notice.

He was done. Thank StarClan. He managed to catch all that he said he would. He let out a soft sigh. He could now relax and take the prey back to camp. Hopefully these would be thoroughly enjoyed.

He quickly retrieved the other two from their hidden positions and made his way back. Before he walked out of view, he looked back at the river, an undecipherable emotion flashed across his face for a split moment. He shook it away and proceeded to go back from the way he came.

The member 'Middy' has done the following action : Roll Dice

---

'Hunting Dice' : 2