so i made a member announcement about my activity a while ago, which mostly just explained why i'm so inactive. tl;dr, i felt stressed and there was this cycle of bad stuff. now it hasn't improved much. i still feel unmotivated and stuff, things like gatherings and ceremonies are starting to feel like chores for lack of a better word, no offense to other members. i'd feel bad if a gathering didn't start because i didn't post, and even if i did post i'd barely manage to churn out three sentences for silverstar and i wouldn't even be able to write anything for my other characters.
keepin it brief, im gonna be away for a big while i kinda have been away for a big while already, but i need a rest. when i started i had a full tank of inpiration and motivation, and rn im running on empty. but this is the big announcement, the main meat
i'm ditchin all my characters, including silverstar
i thought this through, and im gonna be honest, silverstar was the first time i roleplayed a leader. it was a lot of fun, but because it was my first time sometimes i wouldn't know what to do in a situation then when my (or silver's) decision ends up having negative consequences i'd instantly regret it. it went to the point where i'd feel anxious making a post containing such a decision and checking the replies to said post. besides, if i kept them all during my break i might be stressed about immediately returning to my duties or anything i might have missed. what if a big plot happens? i'd have to figure out what's happening, the context, and what silver would do or is doing. even if there was no plot, i don't think i could keep being a leader. i'd rather start over with a fresh clean slate, maybe using whatever ideas i'd think of during break. im sad to abandon any plans i had for my characters, or if other people had plans involving them, but i feel like this is better personally.
