all the ashes in my wake

Coalspark had been doing her best to maintain her regular duties, and for the most part, had been relatively successful. For once, she was quite glad for her small stature, because it did a pretty good job of hiding how incredibly pregnant she was. At most, she looked like she'd only been pregnant for a moon, and not just over two. Only a couple of cats had asked her about it-- her mother, and Blackclaw, the former she'd just immediately brushed off. Blackclaw she had been mostly honest with, mostly because she'd need his help, for relatively obvious reasons. It was in her best interest, anyway, because then he'd been able to give her nursing herbs, which she was quite grateful for.

On this particular evening, she was resting a few tail-lengths away from the nursery, pecking at a mouse she'd caught earlier that day. She was too deep in thought to be eating it at any sort of decent speed, though. Her mind was stuck on Lionflame-- it usually was, but generally in a much more lighthearted sense. Coalspark knew that she was due any day now, and it made her incredibly sad that the father of her kits wouldn't be able to be there. She knew he would be a great father, but she wasn't even sure if he would be able to help her raise them. Not all the way in a different Clan, at least. The queen frowned, licking a spot of blood off of her maw before resting it on her dark gray paws.

Knowing Firestar's opinions of codebreakers, she had already been somewhat resigned to the idea of taking her kits to be with their father, anyway. But with the death of the leader, Coalspark wasn't exactly sure what to do. Magpiewing might do things quite differently. It was impossible to know, and it made her incredibly anxious.

At that moment, a sharp pain rippled through the black she-cat, stealing her breath away and causing her to jolt halfway to her paws. Oh, StarClan, couldn't you have picked a worse time? It was only a few moments ago that she'd seen Blackclaw leave camp, presumably to gather herbs. She prayed that apprentice of his.. Ravenpaw? wasn't with him, at the least, as she wobbled her way into the nursery, which was thankfully empty of cats at that particular moment. Another wave of pain took her and she sprawled out on top of a half-formed nest, resisting the urge to curl into a ball knowing it wouldn't make things any easier for her.

A black-and-white speckled cat ducked her head into the nursery, concerned yellow-green eyes meeting Coalspark's amber ones. "Is everything alright?" the she-cat asked, and Coalspark scrambled her brains trying to remember her name-- she spent so little time around her own Clanmates anymore that it was nearly embarrassing how poor her memory was. "I-I'm fine, thank you, Mallowsp-" she replied after a moment, a sharper pain cutting her off halfway through her sentence and replacing her words with a strangled noise of pain. Mallowspeck nodded knowingly, and smiled softly. "I'll go find a medicine cat," she meowed despite Coalspark's protests, padding off before the queen could say anything else.

She bit out a curse as her body convulsed of its own volition, trying to force the kits out of her small frame, fast. She'd forgotten to ask Blackclaw how many there were, and at that moment, it felt like there were ten of them, with how much her hips ached. Mere seconds after she had that thought, another strong wave of pain stole her breath, and she couldn't help but let out a whine of discomfort as her body prepared to birth her kits whether she was ready for them or not.

---

The ordeal seemed to be over far quicker than Coalspark had expected, and Mallowspeck had returned with some herbs Ravenpaw had discreetly given her, which the queen devoured gratefully, despite the bitter taste. Before she knew it, the black she-cat was curled around five darling kits, and her heart felt like it'd swelled to the size of her whole body. Her amber eyes were practically dripping with love, but in actuality, it was mostly just tears. She pressed her nose to the solid black tom, purring at how much he looked like her. "I'll call you Nightkit." She smiled widely at the three orange kits- one looked just like her father. "You'll be Amberkit," she mewed softly, looking to the more solidly orange tom. "Tigerkit," almost like your father, she thought. Another bright orange tom; Lionflame's genetics were quite strong. "Flashkit." The last kit was black, like her, but it was a warm black, almost brown; Coalspark was quite curious what the tom's coat would end up looking like as he grew older. "And you'll be Earthkit," she decided after a moment, resting her head gently next to her kits as they nursed.

For the first time in over two moons, Coalspark didn't find herself worrying about anything. Nothing would come between her and her babies, and at that moment, nothing else mattered to her at all. She only wished Lionflame could have been there-- she smiled to herself, knowing he would've been crying so much more than she had, the big softie.

A small cream and ginger she-kit took in all the smells ,mostly the main smell of her mother, littermates and milk. The she-kit known as Amberkit let out a mewl of hunger, before crawling over to the source of the milk. She suckled at it until she was content and decided to take in the scents of her littermates.

Amberkit had only toms for littermates and that was the only thing that Amberkit knew about them with her eyes and ears closed. She wanted to find out more about her littermates. Though without having heard any words yet Amberkit couldn't think to herself.

The she-kit let out another mewl this time a mewl of wonder. Wondering what her brothers looked like, what her mother looked like.

But for now Amberkit just needed one other thing. Warmth. The kit pushed her body against her mother's and at the touch of her warm mother, Amberkit fell asleep.

A moment ago, the tom had been in the perfect spot. Sure, it was a bit corroded, but he could fit in there with the two other..blobs. He wasn’t sure what they were, or what he was. Anyways, now he wasn’t there. It had been a flash of cold, of exposure. And he felt the surroundings around him change.

The kit was now laying on the ground, and he squirmed. His first instinct was too race to a sweet smelling liquid, from a war, feeling body. He didn’t hear the meaningless words around them, although they were important. The names of the litter. He didn’t really know he was Earthkit yet. But he did know that the milk would be good. He kicked a body near him, Tigerkit’s, away, as he attempted to reach his destination.

Finally he did, legging our a satisfied squeal as his small stomach filled with the warm fluid.

The mixed blood that circulated around Tigerkit's little heart was unbeknownst to him. The little kit knew very little of anything. The movement and strange sensations that came with life filled him with quiet dread as he was attacked by gentle breezes and other small paws. Too much, too much. Tigerkit bonked his head on Coalspark's stomach, searching for something to satiate his hunger before instinct took over, allowing him to drink. He kicked his chunky legs out behind him and took great excitement in his needs being met for the first time. In the crook of his mother's stomach, the breeze could not reach him.

"Mrrff f f!" he mewed through a mouthful of milk, before coughing. He noted that, for future reference, you could not meow and swallow at the same time.

Flashkit didn’t like this, it wasn’t warm like blob place he used to be at now there was mewling and things moving on top of him and coldness.. and suddenly warmth! And a sweet smell he needed to find the source of. The bright orange kit let out a loud mewl, he had a set of lungs on him for sure, and scrambled over the other blobs, his litter mates?.. other toms.. and a shekit? He wasn’t sure what names were yet but right now he didn’t care, he wiggled over amberkit his half dried clunky body half falling over his sister as he finally pressed against his mother stomach and he began to nurse with vigor, little rumbling mewls and growls leaving him as he did.

News of the litter had already spread like wildfire through the camp-- although, it wasn’t hard to miss with the usual cries of a queen going through labor. Curiosity had brought Toadspeckle to the entrance of the nursery after Ravenpaw had disappeared back into the medicine den. She hadn’t even known any cat was expecting kits, but she had chalked that up to having spent most of her free time reflecting on the recent events of Firestar’s tragic passing and what it would mean for the Clan in the coming moons.
The mottled tortoiseshell she-cat crouched at the mouth of the nursery and peered inside with wide amber eyes. She could only barely make out the shape of Coalspark’s dark pelt curled up around the tiny bundles. Her whiskers twitched in surprise-- out of all the cats it could’ve been, she never would’ve suspected Coalspark! With a shake of her head, Toadspeckle reminded herself that of course she wouldn’t have been able to guess. She was a newly appointed warrior, and she hadn’t had the time to really get to know her denmates yet. That, and Coalspark hadn’t spent much time in camp as of recently.
“Accepting any visitors yet?” She asked gently, her gaze warm and friendly as it rested on the new family.

Coalspark eyed Toadspeckle with a mixture of anxiety and pride. "I wouldn't mind, just try not to crowd them too much," she meowed, smiling tiredly at the younger warrior. The queen watched her kits with a look of pure warmth filling her amber gaze. Tigerkit's bonk made her chuckle softly, licking a stray tuft of fur down on his little orange head. "Be nice, Earthkit," she chided fondly, nosing the two apart a little so that they hopefully didn't fight too much. She wasn't really big enough for this many kits to nurse comfortably, but by StarClan would they have to make it work.

Toadspeckle nodded and slipped inside the nursery, stopping a respectful distance away. She peered down at the tiny bundles carefully nestled against their mother’s belly. Her already large eyes widened in surprise at how stark the ginger, half dried pelts were against Coalspark’s dark fur-- all except for one tiny black kit. Suddenly it all seemed to make sense; all the time she had spent outside of camp, and why the queen hadn’t announced she was expecting at all. There weren’t any ginger toms in ShadowClan. The origin of the kits’ father was written all over their fur.
Toadspeckle swallowed a gasp and glanced up at Coalspark, her mouth half open to put her suspicions into words, but the look of pure motherly affection she saw made her hesitate. Coalspark had betrayed the warrior code and her Clan by mothering half-Clan kits-- but Toadspeckle couldn’t bring herself to feel the outrage she knew she should have felt. All she could really feel was pity.
“Oh, Coalspark…” She mumbled, her voice caught up in the rumblings of a forced purr. “They’re beautiful.”

Flashkit mewled loudly and squirmed against his mother he had been pushed off from where he was nursing and was wiggling around trying to find the warmth and milk scent again. It was crowded with so many other kits, but he welcomed the warmth .

The sleeping kit was soon awaken by her littermates, pushing each other around. Amberkit let out a mew, like she was angry. She batted one of the other kits around her, though she couldn't tell who it was.

Amberkit began crawling around again, this time stopping at one of her mother's front legs. The she-kit sprawled out and slowly returned to her slumber, as her brothers pushed each other around.

(I'M BACCKKK)

Nightkit hated how the muffled noises disturbed his sleep and as he started Drinking he wished he could understand them and even tell them to be quiet. He could easily tell it was day time, he didn't know how, and hated that he was woken up. He felt bigger bodies surround him and tried to hit them with his paw as to say the milk was all his since they woke him up.

(Night pawed earth and flash. Also night is the smallest in the litter cause why not :3 )

Flashkit let out a small growl as he felt a paw on his face it was hard not being able to see or hear that well, all he could tell was he was near warm bodies and he was near milk. He pawed at the body in front of him scrambling over NightKit easily he latched on and began to nurse hungrily.