Lightning strikes at night

With so many bodies moving through the camp the chill of leaf-bare was almost chased out by the heat given off from all the individuals that milled about. Not that Nightstalker noticed the chill, her thick pelt kept her comfortably warm during the colder seasons. That was at least one thing she could thank her heritage for she supposed as she gave her dark paws a few swift licks eyeing the camp around her. She had already watched her sister, Cloudbreeze, organize the patrols for the day and had watched cats scramble to fulfill their duties. She herself had gone on border patrol earlier that day led by Flowtail before the tom went out leading hunting patrol. The silver tabby she-cat scowled slightly as she rested her head on her paws, wondering how the tom who was younger than her had managed to get assigned leading two different patrols where she had just been ordered to follow.

That seemed to be how many things had been going lately for her, following others. She was expected to be quiet and dutiful, following orders and those that gave them, but was never given a position of responsibility. Did her kin not trust her to lead a simple patrol? To guard their borders or her Clan? Nightstalker heaved a sigh and closed her ember colored eyes as she tried to chase these thoughts away. She was the daughter that looked like her stoic father, the leader that held all his warriors to high standards and kept himself at a distance from his Clanmates, giving off an aloof atmosphere about him that commanded respect. 'I could hardly command a flea to jump if I wanted to...' Nightstalker thought dejectedly as she opened her eyes and gazed around the camp as her head rested on her paws, feeling her nose wrinkle slightly as she watched from the shadows.

Having just returned from a hunting patrol, Lightningstar made his way towards the freshkill pile with two squirrels dangling from his maw. Although it was Leaf-bare, the large leader didn't have much trouble catching prey, per usual, and dropping his prey on the ever stable pile, the pelt of his daughter caught his light amber gaze. The younger she-cat looked much like him and in some ways they were very similar, but like him and any of his kits, they had their differences, some of which Lightningstar wasn't very good at dealing with.

"Nightstalker," the burly voiced tom mewed, his voice booming over the clan clearing as he padded over to his daughter. "What cat told you to just sit around? It's Leafbare, we need all paws out in the woods hunting," he pointed out, looking down at the fluffy, tabby she-cat.

Nightstalker watched as her father entered the camp and deposited his prey on the pile. She flicked an ear and turned to look away, but his silver pelt growing closer to her made her pause. Her heart fluttered in her chest, unsure if it should sink to her stomach or leap into her throat. It was rare for her father to seek her out or approach her without being prompted most of the time and to see him padding towards her made hr muscles seize up as she tensed. She turned her amber eyes up towards him cautiously as he grew nearer, her tail tip twitching against the ground.

As he spoke, her heart sank and she dug her claws into the undergrowth as she tried not to let her face wrinkle into a scowl, wanting her expression to be passive but was mostly failing. "I think it would be wise to take a break now and again from hunting," She mewed, her voice low as she held back a growl. "We have borders we need to mark and protect, I just returned from border patrol with Flowtail just awhile earlier. If everyone is hunting the scent markers will become stale or cats will be too tired to go, putting in half-hearted efforts. What kind of message do you think that would send to the other Clans, Lightningstar? Not a very strong one I could assume." Her words were bitter and her voice cold as she spoke, her amber eyes blazing as she leveled them with her father's gaze.

Nightstalker wasn't a bad warrior and Lightningstar knew that, nor was she a bad daughter. But, the she-cat's attitude towards him was what got on the leader's nerves most of all, and that wen't for any of his kits. Such impudence didn't bring food to the freshkill pile, and it certainly didn't help any-cat. While he didn't enjoy having to preform such... strict rulings upon his kin, Lightningstar, unlike his mate, Sageleaf, wasn't the sort of cat to take such backtalk and would make sure the younger she-cat laying lazily in front of him knew so.

"Oh, so you nor any other cat on the patrol thought to go hunting as well, and instead decided to come back and lay around camp, while your clanmates go hunt for your ungrateful bellies?" the large leader meowed, standing with his head high and yellow gaze piercing into Nightstalker's amber one. "I suppose no cat should hunt then... at the risk of our clan borders going stale... and I suppose ThunderClan starving is always an option, as long as our borders are scented. I'll make sure that your clanmates know that you're the one who had such a grand idea," he hissed. His words were harsh and jarring, but his tone remained calm, per usual.

Nightstalker felt the fur along her shoulders begin to bristle and her hackles twitched as she resisted the urge to let them rise, her ember eyes burning as she glared at her father. He was never one to show affection unless it was to her mother, but she felt when it came to her there was always something he had to nitpick. He held his warriors to a high standard yes, but it felt like he held her to a higher standard and she couldn't figure out why. She lifted her head and pushed herself into a sitting position, giving her chest fur a few quick licks while she felt the hollow ache in her belly. In truth, she didn't have it in her to go on another patrol. Under her thick pelt her body waned, muscles growing lean as her empty stomach gnawed away. She made sure her mother was fed, as she had kits to look after, and watched her younger siblings so Sageleaf could have a moments rest. She'd rather see the apprentices and younger warriors eating, keeping up their strength. She was older and had weathered many leaf-bares and nights with a howling stomach, she'd rather her Clanmates at least have something to take the edge off their hunger. She met Lightningstar's gaze and felt an all too familiar pang in her chest as she saw the anger in his eyes and that harshness of his words. Despite being large for a she-cat and standing close to his height, she felt like a kit staring wide eyed up at him. She used to look at him in awe, admiring his calmness in the face of any storm and the respect he commended from his warriors and the other Clans. Now she looked at him with a storm of emotions, wondering what she had ever done to not earn her father's approval and to always be in her sister's shadow. A new anger burned in her belly and she narrowed her eyes.


"After we returned Flowtail went hunting with Roseeye and I can't tell you how may other patrols my sister has organized," Nightstalker snapped. "Call me ungrateful all you want, call me lazy all you want, but don't think I don't do my fair share. You have us hunting the forest bare, if we hunt nonstop like this every day there won't be any prey left to last until new-leaf. And with no rationing, some cats get a full belly while others go hungry." As if on cue, her stomach made a low whine and the silver tabby flattened her ears, clenching her jaw as her pelt heated up. "You expect so much from everyone you are running the Clan ragged." She glared at Lightningstar, her voice had a cold bite to it. She felt her heart grow heavy as a storm of emotions began to brew inside her. Couldn't he see she was just doing her best? That she cared for the Clan as much as he did? He always seemed to look over her, to choose Cloudbreeze or raise her up while knocking her down. What was it she was missing? What more did he want from her?

"I-I..." Lightningstar murmured, as his daughter raged on. He never thought that he was running the clan ragged, but doing what his clanmates needed, which was to be fed in this harsh season. Did more cats feel this way about his leading? If so... he'd better find that out sooner rather than later, seeing as though the last thing he wanted was for his clanmates to someday turn on him in bitter anger, like the she-cat that laid before him.

"Nightstalker..." the large tom began once more, swallowing the lump in his throat. Great StarClan he was horrible at talking, especially like this. He didn't want his kin to turn against him nor hold such sour feelings towards him, but he was just not the kind of cat to be very good at talking things through, which was probably what started all of his problems... If only he could be more like his endearing, beloved mate, Sageleaf. "I'm only doing what I think is best for the clan. If you've been noticing cats going hungry, why didn't you tell any-cat?" the deep voiced leader mewed, a hint of softness and yet also confusion in his voice.

Nightstalker glared at her father out of the side of her eye and sighed. "Why would you, or anyone else, believe me?" She muttered, shaking her head and flicking her ears.  "Everyone looks up to you, believes in you. They look at me and they see you and expect me to behave the way you and Cloudbreeze do. A good warrior who doesn't step out of line, who does what she is told without complaint. I may not have said anything, but I always make sure Mother is fed before I am. I make sure the kits have full bellies and their mothers enough milk. I'll give up my meal for one of the apprentices so they have the strength to continue training." She ground her teeth and resisted the urge to dig her claws into the ground as she tried to keep her emotions in check. She knew her father wasn't good at expressing emotions and it seemed like the trait had been passed down. Everything had been bottled up for so long and raged within her and she took a deep sigh as she tried to sort through it all.

She finally looked up at Lightningstar, her ember eyes alight and burning with emotions as she gazed up at her father.  "In relation to you and Cloudbreeze, I pale in comparison. I fall into the background. Usually it feels like only Mother really sees who I am, but most the time I just feel like a glorified babysitter." She scoffed and shuffled her paws, turning her gaze away from her leader and father and looking back at the ground between her paws.

"Hmm..." Lightningstar hummed as his daughter went on. Knowing him, whatever he said would be interpreted the wrong way, but he was no master at conversations and his kin of all cats should be aware of such a detail.

"From what I can tell, you're just a whiny apprentice, wanting her mother to coo and fawn over her," he mewed bluntly, casting a glance towards Nightstalker. "What you do for the clan does not go unnoticed, trust me, but if you are looking for pity because Cloudbreeze was chosen to be deputy over you, then you shall get none," the leader added and took a pause, trying to figure out how best to word what he wanted to say. "Nightstalker, there's a reason Cloudbreeze was chosen instead of you or any other cat. Not every-cat is fit to lead or to be able to put up with leading by my side, but she fit the criteria. Your mother and I love each and every one of our kits to the stars and back... and you should know by now that I'm... uh, well... not the greatest with words, but that doesn't mean that we don't find you to be a valuable member of our family and clan," the deep voiced tom huffed, shuffling his paws back and forth.

Nightstalker felt her fur bristle along her shoulders and neck at her father's blunt words. If she wanted her mother to coddle and coo over her, she'd have gone to the nursery. He was the one who approached her and called her out for taking a moment to rest. As he continued to speak her fury only grew and she worked the ground with her claws as her tail lashed behind her and her heart began to hammer in her chest, blood roaring in her ears and nearly drowning Lightningstar out. "Did you even listen to what I said?" She spat as she glared up at her father, ember eyes swimming with anger and something close to disappointment. "The fact of the matter is, you always choose Cloudbreeze over me. Praise her over me. Pay her more attention over me. For StarClan's sake sometimes it seems like you only notice me when I take a heartbeat to rest my paws or you need to scold me for something when I am doing my best." She felt her voice break and she clenched her jaws as she tried to swallow the lump that was rising in her throat. "I'm trying to open up to you and tell you how I am feeling, and you turn around and tell me I'm acting like I need to be coddled. You might not be good at expressing words but you aren't good at listening to them either." As she spoke she was picking up speed and more and more venom and bite entered her voice. Her breathing came quick as she fought to breathe around the lump in her throat and her vision blurred as emotions swarmed inside her. "Say you love me all you want but you don't, the only three things you care about in life is the Clan as a whole, Mother, and yourself." She spat the words with as much venom and spite she could, her empty stomach rioting in her stomach and she felt like she was going to be sick as she glared up at Lightningstar, her heart breaking in her chest and she suddenly felt very small. She wanted nothing but to leave, to curl up in her nest and let her emotions overtake her and drag her into sleep so she could forget it all.